Current mood: contemplative
Hi folks,
I'm sitting here this morning, trying to reconnect with
old friends and get myself happy again. I'm drinking coffee and I'm typing and
la la la.
I'm also coughing up a lung because I have asthmatic
bronchitis.
So here's the deal...
I've never been in denial about smoking being an
addiction; that's just stupid. Of course it's an addiction. Anybody who's ever
tried to quit can tell you it's the weirdest thing ever. We all think we have
the self-control to make it past that if we want to, and stop at the
appropriate time.
But here's the thing:
I am very, very sick right now. My doctor, who is a
skinny, balding, middle-aged, straightlaced, quiet, friendly, goody-two-shoes
kind of a guy said 'fuck' to me yesterday when he saw me. People lent me their phones,
let me take things on the credit of my good word, held doors for me, and gave
me stuff for free.
That is the gravity of the situation.
I got a pre-approved credit card, which I am about to max
out so that I can get healthy, as I'm unemployed and have no insurance and
knocking on King Suffocation's parlor door, and Dr. Nelson said 'fuck', and the
taxes on tobacco just went up a dollar a pack in my jurisdiction, and I'm
smoking a cigarette; I puffed on my inhaler, put on some clothes, got in the
car, drove to 7-11, and bought a pack.
If this doesn't tell you something big, profound, and
scary, then you are a complete idiot.
Now, I'm not trying to say you are a bad person if you
smoke. I'm not a hypocrite in any way. I just want all you smokers out there to
step back for a minute and say out loud - "Hi, my name is," (insert
name here), "and I'm an addict." Because you are.
It's not a bad thing. We all have our faults, we are
animals and we do what our bodies tell us to, despite the spiritual mumbo-jumbo
anyone tries to sell you. But, eventually, when you get tired of being a slave,
you'll want to be able to just quit, and the I-Told-You-So shame will set in
and you'll feel like shit, and everyone will point and laugh, and you'll hear
the voice of Piper Laurie in your head, split screens spinning in front of your
face, gym doors flying shut, the emergency hose uncoiling itself and screaming
through the air. When that happens, don't come running to me... I'll be sitting
here, on an iron lung, talking-- like-- Christopher-- Reeve-- (as I have been
for 5 days now), puffing away on a Marlboro Mild.
I'm just giving you fair warning.
So, if you are reading this, and you have the will to
quit, and any desire at all, then you should, not because you're gonna get cancer,
or emphysema, or erectile dysfunction... but because you simply don't want to
have to be chained to something that's bigger than you. Lord knows I would if I
could... and I probably will really, really soon - we'll just have to wait and
see.
I hope you are all having a good day. Be nice to each
other - and have fun.
Love,
Josh
Currently listening :
Frances the Mute, By The Mars Volta
Release date: By 01 March, 2005
 |
